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Writing the introduction

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The introduction and the conclusion are key elements in the structure of your report. They are the bookends that stop the bits in the middle collapsing, if you like.

There are some important things you need to do in the introduction:

  • You need to define what you are going to talk about. Otherwise your marker can't tell if you've talked about it meaningfully or not.
  • You need to show your marker what you are trying to do with your topic - your direction.
  • You need to show your marker what you are going to cover (and what you're not, if need be).
  • You need to give your marker background information necessary to their understanding.

The following sample introduction has both strengths and weaknesses. Read it and see where you think the strengths and weaknesses lie.

Introduction 1

1.1 Purpose

The purpose of this report is to identify how Westpac Banking Corporation and ANZ Banking Group use the marketing mix to attract their specific target market.

1.2 Background

Over the past 20 years, the banking industry in Australia has experienced significant pressures from a number of areas that have changed "and continue to change the landscape of the banking industry" (Ibis Report). The de-regulation of the financial system in the1980s has arguably had the greatest impact on the banking industry; however, the ever-increasing influence of technology also cannot be over-stated.

The four major banks collectively control 73% of industry assets (Ibis World). The market segments comprise individual clients (53%) and the commercial sector (35%), with governments and financial intermediaries having a lesser influence (Ibis Report)

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Do the same with this sample introduction.

Introduction 2

Pre-mixed drinks were introduced in response to the demand of a segment in the alcoholic beverage market, especially by the younger age group who did not like the taste of stronger alcoholic drinks. In general, the pre-mixed alcoholic beverage industry includes wine coolers and spirit-based products. For a while they were also called the "alcopops" which were also tagged "New Age drinks" (Simpson, 2000, p.16).

For the purposes of this assignment, the focus will be on the pre-mixed alcoholic beverage industry in Australia, concentrating on one of the older products, and one of the newest, Bacardi Breezers, with regard to differing marketing mixes.

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Introduction 1

1.1 Purpose

The purpose of this report is to identify how Westpac Banking Corporation and ANZ Banking Group use the marketing mix to attract their specific target market.
A definition of the banking industry would have been useful. It is helpful to outline the overall purpose of your report.
1.2 Background

Over the past 20 years, the banking industry in Australia has experienced significant pressures from a number of areas that have changed "and continue to change the landscape of the banking industry" (Ibis Report). The de-regulation of the financial system in the1980s has arguably had the greatest impact on the banking industry; however, the ever-increasing influence of technology also cannot be over-stated.
As above, while it is useful to have background - and the background here is good - you do not have to use numbered sections unless you want to.
The four major banks collectively control 73% of industry assets (Ibis World). The market segments comprise individual clients (53%) and the commercial sector (35%), with governments and financial intermediaries having a lesser influence (Ibis Report) The student has clearly done useful research. It would also help the reader to have the scope of the report spelled out in the introduction. The three references to Ibis World should have been more specific

Introduction 2

Pre-mixed drinks were introduced in response to the demand of a segment in the alcoholic beverage market, especially by the younger age group who did not like the taste of stronger alcoholic drinks. In general, the pre-mixed alcoholic beverage industry includes wine coolers and spirit-based products. For a while they were also called the "alcopops" which were also tagged "New Age drinks" (Simpson, 2000, p.16). This introduction jumps too quickly into the background: you need to orient your reader to the nature of the report and its focus at the outset. Defining the industry would be useful.







Good use of reference here - gives added understanding of the industry.
For the purposes of this assignment, the focus will be on the pre-mixed alcoholic beverage industry in Australia, concentrating on one of the older products, and one of the newest, Bacardi Breezers, with regard to differing marketing mixes. Very clear presentation of the scope.
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