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Joseph's essay and what his lecturer thoughtEssay topic:On Page 6 of Wide Sargasso Sea, Antoinette remembers "Our garden was large and beautiful as that garden in the Bible - the tree of life grew there. But it had gone wild. The paths were overgrown and a smell of dead flowers mixed with the fresh living smell". Comment on the way in which descriptions of landscape and environment in the novel mark stages in the spiritual and psychological journey of the heroine. Click on the highlighted text to see the comments. Wide Sargasso Sea, as its title indicates, encompasses a broad range of preoccupations relating to post-colonial society and its mores, race, madness, the relationships of family and the effect of these on women, using a historical and intertextual revelation of the first wife of Mr. Rochester from the novel Jane Eyre. These themes are introduced into the text, without detracting from the sense of narrative, through the use of the landscape and environment to mirror the spiritual and psychological journey of Antoinette.
This new tension-filled prosperity of Coulibiri is soon remedied when the black people of the area burn Coulibri as a sign of their hatred for the Creoles, who are seen as part of the earlier colonial oppression where slavery of the black peoples was practised. Antoinette feels betrayed, wanting as she did to assimilate. The burning of Coulibri is the very literal representation of this rift between the Creoles and the black people of Jamaica. Antoinette says she knew she "would never see Coulibri again" (p. 34). And she doesn't. Not in the form it once was.
Life in the educational cloister of the Mount Calvary Convent in Spanish Town reflects the stalemate Antoinette experiences spiritually and psychologically. The neat but empty gardens, "paved path(s)", "sometimes a bright bush or flower" (p. 29) is a world away from the exotic tangle of Coulibri. The convent becomes a "refuge, a place of sunshine and death" (p. 31) where Antoinette tries to forget everything, but cannot shake the memory of her mad mother and the way she was betrayed by society and her own family.
Like a mirroring of Antoinette's madness, Coulibri becomes subject to Rochester's vision of a place ravaged by hurricanes. His thoughts of Coulibri are exactly equivalent to what happens to Antoinette, much of which occurs through his own doing. She too strikes an image of the royal palms he imagines: "Stripped of branches. . . (but) still . . . stand(ing) defiant". She has been battered into submission by his mind games, just as Coulibri stands stripped but defiant in the face of the hurricane months.
Psychologically battered, spiritually desolate, Antoinette is taken to England. The images are bleak: dampness, cold, olive green waters, narrow rooms and blank countryside.
Antoinette has a close affinity with her environment. She loves most the sensuous beauty of Coulibri. This is ruined for her by Rochester, who makes it just another place in her psyche holding images of betrayal and loss. In this way, she is mirroring her mother's fractured story: she also came to ruin in Coulibri - the place she nevertheless loved - partly by the ignorance of her husband. Coulibri becomes to Antoinette a paradox, at once enticing, a representation of her happiness in childhood, but at the same time provoking the memory of all that has gone awry in her life: the antagonism of the black people; the madness of her mother; the loss of her own happiness through Rochester's misdeeds; and, eventually, the loss of her sanity. As Angela Smith points out in her introduction to the book, Antoinette's tragic story is a doubling of her mother's. With history repeating itself, she is doomed to be driven mad "by the tensions between (Rochester's) assumptions about her and demands on her, and her precarious sense of where she belongs" in her environment.
Good paragraphThis paragraph is effective, centred as it is on Antoinette's experience, with well-selected details from landscapes that she has known. Good transitionThe transition to Paragraph 3 is well handled. However, the expression is unnecessarily informal toward the end of the paragraph. Need transition hereA stronger transition between Paragraphs 3 and 4 is needed here. Good Struture and ContentFrom paragraph 4 onwards Joseph's concentration on the topic is excellent. The writing occasionally suffers from slips in expression, as in the penultimate paragraph, but the essay generally brings out the complexity of the novel. Rephrase"Whenever Antoinette is conscious of this new environment, her overwrought imagination distorts it ..." Lecturer's overall commentJoseph received a Distinction for this essay - a good result in English. This is a well worked out and convincing essay. It meets the expectations very well (see Lecturer's Expectations in this tutorial). The opening paragraph indicates that the writer is aware of a whole range of important themes in the novel, but he avoids the temptation to digress by supplying an excellent topic sentence: "One way some of these themes are introduced into the text without detracting from the sense of narrative is through the use of the landscape and environment to mirror the spiritual and psychological journey of Antoinette." Each paragraph thereafter mentions both the landscape and Antoinette's relationship to it. It is true that the essay changes focus slightly when it speaks of Rochester's feelings (Paragraphs 5 and 6), but even here Antoinette is present: "His thoughts of Coulibri run an exact equivalent to what happens to Antoinette, much by his own doing." It is a slight weakness in the essay that it ends with a tame endorsement of Angela Smith's comments, but overall the essay has brought off the difficult feat of being both focused and inclusive. BibliographyA bibliography should be supplied. Download a printable version of this page (.doc)Problems? Questions? Comments? Please provide us feedback. |
Unwieldy sentence
The opening paragraph is promising, since it sets the boundaries for the ensuing discussion. However, the last sentence is unwieldy. It deals with three different subjects - the structure of the tale, family history, and Antoinette's personal story. There should be three sentences corresponding to these.